Oct 7, 2007 by Rochelle
Today is my first football Sunday in my apartment. So far I am loving it! It is so peaceful, relaxing, and quite frankly lazy! Football Sunday involves sitting around, watching the games that come on my TV, following my fantasy football team on my Stat Tracker, and routing for my Pigskin Pick ‘Em picks to win. Dorky I know.
I’m sitting here in my super chair. I’ve got my knitting, my computer, my remote controls, my coffee, and my cell phone. I’m not sure that I will have to get up for a long time. Except of course to pee (see the part about the coffee). Oh and one of my cats! When I used to daydream about my new place, this is what I daydreamed of. A wonderful Sunday, sitting in my super chair and just relaxing.
Yesterday was a good day. I spent most of the day unpacking and I made some great progress. I can’t believe how much stuff I have. I’m not exactly sure what to do about that. But, since it is almost put away I’m not sure I should worry about that anymore.
I’m beginning to appreciate my freedom. I knew this would happen to me, but had no idea it would happen so soon. To know that I can do whatever I want and when I want is great. I am realizing just how much I used to worry about my actions and behavior. I used to worry that he would think less of me for being “lazy”. How stupid.
Last night Brian was supposed to come over. He didn’t call until 7:30. By that point I had sort of written him off. He had been at a wedding earlier in the day, so I figured he was still with his friends. Well he did call and he told me he would not be able to drive over because he had some drinks at the reception (he got a ride to the wedding and back). So I offered to go over to his place (secretly wishing he would just say forget it). He agreed (damn it!), but then changed his mind and said forget it (yes!). Well we continued on with some pleasantries and then said goodbye. I knew once we hung up though that it wasn’t over. Sure enough, not five minutes later, he called me back. I didn’t answer and he ended up leaving this weird message. Sometimes he likes to be mysterious to get attention.
I tried to call him back a few times and he didn’t answer again. I can’t believe I fall for his games. Finally he called back and we ended up fighting. Apparently I didn’t make enough of an effort to see him. That when he said “do you mind if we don’t see each other tonight,” I was supposed to throw a fit and demand that we see each other and then drive over there perfectly sexy and ready to sit around his place doing nothing that I want to do. What-the-fuck-ever! When someone asks me not to do somewhere, I pretty much believe them and don’t push it.
He of course exclaimed that this is why we’re not together. I just “don’t try hard enough.” Maybe that is true, but I don’t roll that way. I want life to be simple and straightforward, not wrapped in riddles and played out through games.
At one point we hung up on each other. He called back to apologize but just got cranky all over again. He’ll be in Jacksonville for the next few days, which is alllll right with me.
I don’t mean to be so mean about him, but I’m just sick of his drama. I know I should be trying to work on my marriage, but I sort of feel like the hard part of breaking up is over. Moving out was the saddest and hardest thing I have ever gone through. Now that I’m settled and past that I’m feeling pretty all right about all of this. Plus, I’m feeling optimistic about future romantic possibilities.
Anyway, enough love life drama! On a knitting note, I will finish my scarf today. It’s the magic scarf, courtesy of Crazy Aunt Purl:
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